The Fine Line Between “Handy” and “Help!”
– Creedence Clearwater Revival, “Have you ever seen the rain”
More and more, I find that one of the challenges of home ownership is finding the line between “I can do this, I’m handy, I’ve got tools and YouTube” and “Ok, this is really broken, I need a professional”.
A few people told me it was really important to cover your outdoor spigots to protect them from the winter elements. Remember this, you’ll laugh later on in this story.
So, on the Saturday night before the snowstorm that dropped about 16 inches on us, I dutifully went to Home Depot to grab the covers. This came after watching the Islanders get spanked 5-0 by the Sabres at UBS Arena, with Noah, who is now 0-2-2 at Isles games. Poor kid can’t buy a win, even when they are actually doing well this year.
Covers in hand, I noticed the extension pieces on the spigot were too large for the cover to encapsulate. No problem – I’ve got pliers, and can take these off. Headlamp on, as it was about 9 pm, and the first piece came off without a hitch. I started on the second piece, and all of a sudden I was SOAKING WET. In the 15-degree weather, this thing was peppering me with cold water. OK, no problem – let’s just screw this back on. Nope, nope, and nope – won’t take and water is going in lots of different directions now. Fine. I head into the basement and shut off the water main. With the water attack quelled, I could now see why the piece wasn’t screwing back on. It had very much broken off in my hand. Yikes.
It’s important to note that at this point in the story, I didn’t know where the outdoor water shutoff was, so my options were to:
- Leave the water off for the whole house right before this crazy storm
- Leave the water on and watch it create an icy pond on my front lawn (ok, maybe fun for ice skating)
- Head back to Home Depot.
It was around this time that I received a phone call from my wife, who was curious why the water in the house had suddenly stopped working. “Schmoop, you have no idea what I’m going through now”.
Luckily, the Depot was open until 10 pm that night. Eventually, I got someone to help me figure out what I needed. Between the pieces I brought with me and some quickly snapped photos from my wife, he sent me home with what he thought we needed. Cool.
Back home, I used the pliers to remove the other broken piece still attached to the house, and “snap”, my pliers were now broken. Right. With set of pliers #2, I was able to loosen the piece, but the whole shebang was spinning now. I was cooked. I had reached the point where I didn’t want to make this any worse, so I decided to call in the pros. Once again, Plitnick Plumbing and Heating to the rescue, quickly there late on a Sunday night. These guys should show up in capes. Heroes.
Not only did they, of course, have the exact part I needed (what I had from Home Depot was wrong and never would have worked), but they also showed me where the outdoor water shut off is (why is the gate valve red for cold water??), and then they landed the punchline of the evening.
Me: It’s crazy, this all started just because I wanted to cover these things up.
Plumber: Oh, you don’t need to do that. The water is off now, you’re fine.
The next day, the water to the upstairs bathroom sink stopped working, necessitating ANOTHER call to Plitnick. That turned out to be a frozen pipe, which they couldn’t fix. You’d think this would be the crazier, worse part of the story, but it honestly wasn’t. Just had to get a little warmth from the house into the area, and the water was flowing again within a few hours.
If you’re curious about why the picture above is of snowboards, thanks for reading this far – you’re the best.
Handyman win #1 – so simple but so great. Hanging our snowboards, display-style, in the garage. Decidedly a better place for them than under the bed where they used to live in Brooklyn.
Handyman win #2: As Noah and I were working on a very fun, glow-in-the-dark Harry Potter puzzle, I noticed our dining room table was shaking. Just needed an Allen key and a few minutes to cinch that up and get back to puzzle-making.
Handyman win #3: Done while taking a small break in the middle of writing this, using a specific hose to vacuum out the lint from the dryer. No, not the piece that comes out – we are really good about cleaning that every time. Did you know that other lint gets in there and needs to be vacuumed out? I didn’t, but I do now, and we’re good to go.
Handyman win #4: The office chair I write this from has been slowly sinking on me as I sit. Did you know the gas lift cylinder on these chairs wears out over time, and that you can fairly easily replace it? Well, I do now; I’ve also fixed this and added a pipe wrench to my stable of tools. I mean, this thing looks every bit the potential murder weapon from the board game Clue, but it did the trick quite easily, AND the next time I attempt to do anything plumbing-related, I’ve got the right tool, at least, to get started.
The handier people reading this may laugh at the simplicity of these jobs, but I’m enjoying learning, channeling my Dad- that handiest guy I’ve ever met, and saving money where I can.
If these stories come off as complaining – I swear I’m not – just recounting, and still having fun over here. Well, mostly – I could have done without the utterly below-freezing outdoor shower.
Got a big surprise coming up next month that I’m excited to tell you about.
Stay tuned, and thanks for reading!
This month, Murph Consulting turned 18. I cranked up Alice Cooper's "I'm 18" and Skid Row's "18 and Life" to get the vibes going. My company is now old enough to vote, get a tattoo, and get married, all without parental consent. Watch out, world!
In all seriousness, the passing of another year of entrepreneurship and running a successful business always feels like a good time to reflect. Since we started in 2007, we've assisted nearly 600 small businesses and residential clients. Businesses in every industry, ranging in size from the solopreneur to 100 employees. There’s no company we’ll say “you’re too small for us to help”, and that gives me great joy. Small businesses need tech and CyberSecurity support, and we’ve got their backs.
Speaking of, it's October again, and you all know what that means, right? The Mets have failed us, and the Islanders, Jets, and Rangers are about to. It's also Cybersecurity Awareness Month. Every small business should be implementing some basic security measures by now. It's easier and more affordable than you think it is, and definitely cheaper than dealing with the fallout of something drastically bad happening to your business.
How's your password game? Do you use strong passwords on all the sites you visit, or are they all slight modifications of one word, like your kids or pets' names or birth dates?
If it's the latter, let's chat. You should be using a password manager. They are easy to use, create complex passwords for you that you no longer need to remember, and keep them all safe for you. I can't remember the last time I had to click on the "forgot your password" link for any site, and I love that for me.
A password manager is just one of the seven software we feel EVERY small business should have in place to help keep them protected in 2025. We’ve packaged these up together neatly and made them affordable for the small businesses we will always support. If you’d like to learn more, please click the “Contact Murph” button below to send me an email.