From Nervous Newcomer to Lifelong Member: My BNI Journey

This week, I had to answer the question – “What does BNI mean to me?” I mean, where do I start?

BNI Global is a networking group started 40 years ago by Dr. Ivan Misner. There are thousands of chapters worldwide, and over 50 in NYC alone. Their motto is “Giver’s Gain,” and it’s where over 330,000 members go weekly to pass warm referrals to each other so nobody has to do cold calling.

I joined my chapter, BNI 53, Worth Waking Up For, in 2013 after my friend Hal Horowitz introduced me to the group. I was a solopreneur at the time, wearing all the hats at Murph Consulting, and I was looking for a way to grow my business. I was very nervous, steeling myself to stand up in a room of strangers and give an elevator pitch about my company. Luckily, everyone in the group was SO welcoming and friendly.

I will never forget what happened at the end of my first meeting. One of the biggest rules of BNI is no competition. So, there can only be one person in any chapter who provides, in my case, IT Support. There were three IT people in that meeting. One belonged to another BNI Chapter, and although I didn’t know it then, you can only be a member of one chapter, so I didn’t need to worry about him. At the end of the meeting, I was chatting with the third IT guy and, being the nice guy I am, said, “If you want to apply, go ahead and I won’t even apply”, meaning he would have had a pretty straightforward path to claim the IT seat.

It’s funny how little moments like this can define your life. I am SO LUCKY. He said, “Thanks for saying that, but I’m not going to apply.” I think about this moment often—how close I came to not being in this chapter. I applied and got in.

Fast forward to today. I just started my 12th year in the chapter and 10th year on the membership committee.

Do you like numbers? In the 11+ years, I’ve had 545 “1-2-1s.” These are what we call one-on-one meetings with other BNI members, where we dive deeper into understanding each other’s businesses and figure out the best way to refer clients to one another. It’s where the true magic of BNI takes place. I’ve given 356 referrals to other members and brought in 154 visitors to check out our chapter.

I’ve received 220 referrals but landed over 330 clients, because one referral can lead to many more over time. I recently got an “8th tier” referral, meaning a client this year came through a chain of seven others, all stemming from one original referral years ago.

I’ve also both given and received over $1.5 million in business.

Are you more into feelings? The advice and mentorship I’ve given and received helped me shape and ultimately grow my business. My company is now a team of 8 outstanding employees who do the day-to-day heavy lifting so I can focus on being CEO, seeing the bigger picture, and writing fun articles like this.

The friendships I’ve made are lifelong, with people I see way more than my family and college buddies (I wish I saw them weekly, but sadly, I do not). These are the people with whom we share our lives’ wins and losses. We’ve become our own family.

Fellow BNI members, you know what I’m talking about. Fellow business owners, if any of this interests you, please let me know if you want to hear more. We’re always looking for visitors.